breakthrough

Anger is not a character flaw.

It is an emotion.

Can you believe it?

So I can be angry and express that anger (in healthy ways) and then feel better as opposed to internalizing all that anger and rage and further beating myself up for being a horrible person because I was angry in the first place.

This is huge! Because I started doing it before I cognitively grasped it. I have been expressing my anger for the last couple of weeks as a part of grieving my mental health. I gave myself permission to be angry because it is a step of the grief process. Sunday I realized that I was feeling better. And then I realized…

This is quite possibly the largest therapeutic breakthrough thus far in my like o’ therapy. Anger as a character flaw and consequently internalized and amplified has had a direct effect on my suicide attempts and self mutilation SINCE I WAS NINE YEARS OLD (my mother even says eight but I don’t remember eight so I say nine).

Bwah ha ha ha ha. I feel like I have unearthed some great secret.

Bonus breakthrough: not every list has to be a to-do list. Inconceivable!