mind yourself

i love my new therapist. she is a cognitive-behavorial therapist. we make maps of where i want my life to be. we create goal and value fueled lists of tasks and actions to be taken. we make lists and charts and graphs together. she even brought me a pear. i think i'm in love.


except she also brought me two cds. one is for meditation. the other is for "mindfulness". the first is 45 minutes while the second is only 15. because i like her so much, i decided to give them a try.

i drew a bath, left my sex toys in the cabinet, and plugged in my cd alarm clock. i put on the mindfulness mix. a guy came on sounding like mr. rogers talking about watching my thoughts without acting on them.

great in concept. in practice, i suck! i lasted nine minutes. not even nine minutes of the cd. nine minutes from when i plugged in the cd player. and that included his little introduction about how to sit. argh.

but i really respect my therapist and i need to "get in touch with my body and emotions" etc etc. so i'm going to keep trying. tomorrow i'll aim for eleven minutes.