gay-pron

gay-pron
Originally uploaded by the_educated_slut.

because i'm a dork and was unsure if they will provide me with an apron tomorrow, i made one of my own. check out my new gay-pron!

official

tomorrow, i officially become the blue haired waitress. i begin training at barnaby's www.barnabyscafe.com. after four days they will decide if i am quick enough to pick up shifts. and i will decide if i can handle it.

i am racked with anticipatory anxiety but its okay because i can be anxious tonight. tomorrow, though...

but i feel comfortable and happy in the restaurant. the staff is super friendly. they think i'm funky. between them and my therapist i'm gaining some twisted sense of reflected identity, albeit very different than the sex nerd persona i'm so accustomed to.

but wish me luck and break a leg and i'll remember to pour coffee away from customers and smile when i serve my first slice of pie.

now i return to my flashcards so that i don't forget the list of available dressings or the make-up of the mixed greens.

10 o'clock cleavage

10 oclock cleavage
Originally uploaded by the_educated_slut.

on my way out to apply for pub jobs. at least the girls look good.

needle porn

rainbow girl
Originally uploaded by the_educated_slut.

knitting needles, that is.

there's a new blog in town - knittedporn.blogspot.com

submit your sexy needle and yarn oriented photos to knitporn@yahoo.com.

full disclosure: my hat is crochet. i hope no one minds.

my therapist thinks i'm hip

socially awkward dork seeks life

this would be the title of today's personal ad. and yet, my therapist thinks i'm cool and hip and should blend myself in to houston's art scene. and i stifle laughter because i'm a crazy knitting sex geek with no job and no direction. lovely conversation fodder right there. let's see, we could talk about dropping out of grad school or the hazards of too much xanax. or my dog. because people who talk about their dogs are only slightly less annoying than those who obsess over their cats.

but i'm making an effort. last night i went out all by myself. i went to brasil's and had some mint tea and half a brownie while reading "happy baby" (more intense than the super rich brownie). after about an hour, i decide to go cafe hopping and hit taft street coffee, which is walking distance from my apartment and on my list of places to go. turns out they were having a swing dance. so i paid my three dollars and played the wallflower, watching the dancers and singing along to the standards. it was lovely. as i was leaving, i even danced a number with one of the professionals. good times.

and, big announcement, this week i will finally begin applying for jobs. my medication is balanced enough that i think i can hold down part time employment. so house of pies here i come. if anyone can suggest other establishments that would welcome a blue haired waitress, please give me a heads up.

and i have been writing intensely. although not for blogging purposes. i have submitted pieces to six different anthologies over the last two weeks. whether they will be accepted, who knows? but writing is good. especially writing strong cohesive pieces.

by the way, why doesn't any local store carry albums by the checkers. i spent friday obsessively searching for the lyrics to "don't stop dan" (the sequel to "sixty minute man"). my dad recorded it off the radio when i was a baby so i grew up listening to it, but he couldn't find the tape. i would like my own copy, anyways. if anyone has access, please feel free to burn me a cd. free chapbook!

oh, by the way, please cast your vote on your favorite educated slut story of 2005. this will help me decide which pieces to polish and which to leave behind in the blogosphere.

mail whore

I now have my very own post box. Send me a postcard. Send me your underwear. Send me $5 with a name and address and I will then discreetly mail you a chapbook.

Jane Vincent
The Educated Slut
PO Box 66153
Houston, TX
77266-6153

take home the educated slut

yesterday, on a creative urge, i put together a chapbook. it features five stories and is a "best of the educated slut". three of the stories are not available online. the other two are a "best of the blogged". it also includes a risk reference chart.

if you would be interested in purchasing one for five bucks (covers my copy costs and mailing), give me a heads up either in the comments or email me at the_educated_slut@yahoo.com. include "dirty chapbook" in the title.

oh yeah, did i mention it is dirty? dirty stories make me happy. how about you?

a sticky situation

i'm doing a little research and need your assistance. i am trying to answer the age old question - do pop rocks sizzle in cum?

now, this is what i need from you. go to the drug store, gas station, etc and invest 50 cents in a pack of pop rocks. the next time you jerk off or ejaculate for whatever purpose, please pour the pop rocks in your cum. then, email me to let me know if it sizzles.

i need this information no later than saturday evening. thanks for your help!

warning: never ever ever put pop rocks or any sugar candy in a woman's vagina as it can cause yeast infections. furthermore, you probably don't want to get them in your own urethra (the eye of the penis); could be quite the discomfort.