help a merry kinkster out

note: i know i've been doing the annoying thing where i cross post here and on educated slut. you'll get your very own special entry soon, i promise.

so i have been a busy little bee.i have been writing up a fierce storm to the echoing applause of silent rejections (at least send a note, people). and i have been making leaps and bounds in therapy.

but of greater interest to you, i have been editing omyfirstorgasm.blogspot.com, which now updates every monday and thursday. send in stories of your first and i'll make you a stah, dahling. be sure to adhere to the call for submissions(http://omyfirstorgasm.blogspot.com/2006/02/call-for-submissions.html) .

i have also started (finally) contributing to the budding Cootchie! Creative Organizing Of The Community for Health Information and Education. There is now a resource list of sliding scale STI testing facilities up on the blog (http://cootchieorg.blogspot.com). And I will be passing out flyers and condoms around town. If you know a bar or club you think I should shower with free condoms, please comment or email.

Furthermore, I am officially researching sex toy stores in Houston - although the sex toys are adult and/or novelty gifts, but i digress. After taking my little sister to Cindie's for her 18th birthday (she now has two vibes, a bottle of lube, and a tattoo and is ready to take over the world), I am impressed with their selection. But I want to review a wide range of stores. Aside from driving around and stopping in every adult venue I pass (and there are a lot of them down here in Montrose), I'm looking for recommendations.

So help a merry kinkster out, friends, and leave a comment or email the_educated_slut@yahoo.com. Thank you, kindly.

My libido, the prairie dog

My libido or my sanity… a difficult choice.

Over the last few months of difficult adjustment, I’ve had to make a choice. Actually, several choices.

First, I chose not to pursue rampant casual sex in a compulsive grab to assuage my manic episodes. Instead, I burrowed in my apartment and jerked off like a fiend.

I chose not to pursue sex work, a tool previously used to moderate my sexual compulsivity. I chose this for many reasons, among them legal, lack of support system, and general lack of good head space/emotional state. If I couldn’t hook happily, I wouldn’t whore at all.

My third choice is more ambivalence than a direct “I choose…” statement. I have dated very cautiously. I have strained emotional resources and feel that I have little to bring to a relationship right now.

Sounds like the perfect set up for casual flings, right? Wrong. Because I have no libido.

More specifically, my libido is burrowed deep in a hole. It spends most of its time there. Every now and then it will perk up and look around at the sun. Sometimes it will even scamper. But undoubtedly, before I have a chance to act on it and pursue a partner, it jumps back in to its tight dark hole and hides.

Not that this has slowed down my masturbation. But it has certainly slowed down my orgasms. Sometimes I can have three or four orgasms in a row. Sometimes, after forty five minutes, I turn the Hitachi off and roll over to sleep, unsatisfied.

I know the lull is due to my conscious choices and my recovering mental health. But it is also due to my current medication cocktail. All four of my medications list sexual side effects.

The meds have helped me regain my life. But it is a different life than the one I had. After being such a sexually voracious tart (and very much incorporating that in to my identity) I find myself lacking much sexual appetite at all.

I know this is right for me for now, but the bottom line is, I miss the old sexy jane. I want my libido back, dammit!

O, my first orgasm

There's a new blog a'brewin'. O, my first orgasm is setting out to be a collection of personal essays on first orgasm. Here's the call for submissions.

Among the existing “first time” anthologies there remains a void – discussion of first orgasm. First orgasm is unique in its diversity as a common experience.

In my quest for orgasm, I researched heavily. I read instructional guides, watched films, and attended lectures. Sadly, most of what I found was geared towards forty-something married women with attentive partners. As a young single woman, I felt alienated. What little I could find that I related to seemed to focus on the mythical shower head. I would look up at my wall-mounted shower and wonder, “How the heck am I supposed to get my vagina up there?”

Now that my little sister is beginning her search for orgasm, I am hoping to provide her (and the rest of us) with a new resource – a collection of explicit personal essays on first orgasm.

I was hoping you would be interested in contributing to this collection of personal essays on first orgasm. Currently, the collection is being posted to O, my first orgasm at omyfirstorgasm.blogspot.com. I hope to create an anthology proposal out of the submissions. Please indicate in your reply if you would be interested in participating in the anthology, as well as the website.

Previously published works as well as brand spanking new pieces are welcome. We can not provide monetary remuneration at this time but are happy to link to your website. If the project makes the jump to print media, remuneration will be available.

Your piece can be as long or as short as it needs. Please creatively interpret the theme of first orgasm. For example, first orgasm could mean first in a certain circumstance, first alone, first with a partner, first in public, first with a group, first in front of a camera, first after an event, first with medication, first on Viagra, first with a vibrator, first female/male ejaculation, first with a woman, first with a man, first time faking (or not faking), first post transition, or first ever. At this time, we can not accept pieces with underage characters. If you were fortunate enough to experience your first orgasm before 18, please write about a different orgasm.

Please feel free to circulate this call for submissions.

Submissions should be sent to omyfirstorgasm@yahoo.com. Thank you.

sandy's graduation

sandy's graduation
Originally uploaded by the_educated_slut.

sandy graduated obedience class tonight. she was most improved student and did her rountine perfectly. momma is so proud.

you like me! you really like me!

the chapbooks have all sold out! if you are still yearning for one, or intended to purchase one but never got me the money, comment here or email me a heads up. i'm going to do a small second run this weekend so asap on those requests, por favor.

better now

so how can i make my first double and first time carrying a section even harder on myself? forget to take my medication. two doses. that's a dozey.

but i survived, in gliding if not flying colors. and they want me back. which is a good thing.

i even made $150 for the guy who's section i was running. how much did i make? $25 bucks. and people wonder why anyone would choose to do sex work.

did you know that gay men in houston shop at target? amazing...

better now

so how can i make my first double and first time carrying a section even harder on myself? forget to take my medication. two doses. that's a dozey.

but i survived, in gliding if not flying colors. and they want me back. which is a good thing.

i even made $150 for the guy who's section i was running. how much did i make? $25 bucks. and people wonder why anyone would choose to do sex work.

did you know that gay men in houston shop at target? amazing...

how's it going?

i have now trained three shifts and i'm exhausted. i also just took my test which included writing full descriptions of every single item on the menu. i have no idea how many i can miss, but i'm sure i'm grazing the bottom line, if not under it entirely. when i was taking the test i almost walked out, thinking "fuck this". but it had already cost me so much anticipatory anxiety. plus, my shrink would be dissappointed in me if i quit. so i go back in for the evening shift in an hour, where i will run someone's section, and then possibly be fired. wahoo.

but at least i get to wear my gaypron.

gay-pron

gay-pron
Originally uploaded by the_educated_slut.

because i'm a dork and was unsure if they will provide me with an apron tomorrow, i made one of my own. check out my new gay-pron!

official

tomorrow, i officially become the blue haired waitress. i begin training at barnaby's www.barnabyscafe.com. after four days they will decide if i am quick enough to pick up shifts. and i will decide if i can handle it.

i am racked with anticipatory anxiety but its okay because i can be anxious tonight. tomorrow, though...

but i feel comfortable and happy in the restaurant. the staff is super friendly. they think i'm funky. between them and my therapist i'm gaining some twisted sense of reflected identity, albeit very different than the sex nerd persona i'm so accustomed to.

but wish me luck and break a leg and i'll remember to pour coffee away from customers and smile when i serve my first slice of pie.

now i return to my flashcards so that i don't forget the list of available dressings or the make-up of the mixed greens.